America, the land of the free, the home of the braveThat's what I thought before I toured thereYou see, I've got myself being seduced by the sheer americana of it allAnd I'd seen their images on televisionOf lee harvey oswald, john f kennedy's assassinationAnd I thought america is a violent placeAnd america is keen to trap youLike you had giant tentacles that wrapped themselves around youUntil you couldn't move and you were trappedThe land of the free, the home of the brave, guns and the wild westHey big fat cowboy, wearing your big stetsonHey big fat cowboy, flashing your big six gunHey big fat cowboy, singing country & westernHey big fat cowboy, is this the way that the west was won? yeahI found myself in the back of a big ford thunderbirdWith a slick-looking dudeHe looked like a punk from a b-movie,The sort of punk that would piss everybody offUntil lee marvin put a bullet through his brainThe punk looked over at meKinks? what kind of a motherfuckin' name is that? Then he reached over and picked up the car telephoneHey kid, I've got elvis presley's phone numberI've got ann-margret's phone number I've fucked ann-margret!I knew mick avory would be impressed with this, but I was notAnd then the punk looked over at meI'll dial elvis presley he dialed a numberHey, is that you elvis? I wanna speak to the colonelJump to it, you mother!And then he looked over at me in a menacing way,Reached into the glove-compartment and took out a revolverHe waved the six gun around, menacinglyYou see kid, when I deal with people, they have to treat me right,Otherwise they contend with this! a gun!Have you ever seen a gun before? I hadn'tThen he waved it around, put it back in the glove-compartmentWelcome to peoria, illinois, home of middle america,Ice-cream and apple pie, guns and the wild westAll american wise guy, why achieve that gleam in the sunHamburger and a milkshake, all american dudePopcorn and a t-bone, hot dog with a big smileAnd a bad attitude, yeah yeah yeahFlying across america on a twa, flying to californiaTo appear on television, performing our new record set me freeThe kinks were met by a union man with a contract to signAnd the kinks didn't like signing contractsHey, are you the kinks? sign this piece of paper guys!I want you to sign this union-document so you can appear on televisionNo thanks mate, we don't wanna sign a contractYou have to sign, otherwise you cannot appearWe don't want to sign a piece of paper, alright!Listen kid, you sign the piece of paperYou with your red hunting jackets and your yellow frilly shirtsSign the piece of paper!Do you wanna sign it? he looked over at daveWatcha gonna do kid? fuck off!Which is a fairly reasonable thing to say in the circumstances,But not very wise, you see, the man was a union executiveAlright once I file my report on you guysYou're never gonna work in america againYou're gonna find out just how powerful it is in america!The land of ice-cream and apple pie, guns and the wild westGreat american union rules with the fist, a smile and a gunGreat american napalm lights up the sky like the sunGreat american eagle swoops down from the sky up aboveAnd I remember the images of lee harvey oswaldAppearing on tv saying he was a patsyA union man is a-framin' the kinksWhile I thought this is the land of opportunityBut the cosa nostra are everywhereLand of ice-cream and apple pieHey big fat cowboy, wearing that big six gunHey big fat cowboy, singing country & westernHey big fat cowboy, moving that big six gunHey big fat cowboy, is this the way that the west was won? Yeah yeah yeahAnd 6 weeks later robert and grenville and larryWere sitting in their office in carnaby streetAnd the letter came from the american governmentIt was from the american federation of musicians unionA band known as the kinks,The english beat group known as the kinks,Are banned from americaTheir license to perform has been revoked indefinitelyYeah, all the same fuck offIn the land of the ice-cream and apple pie, guns and the wild west